Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day has come and gone...

...and I for one am glad.

I am a mother of five great kids and a wife to a fabulous husband, but I must confess Mother's Day is not the best day for me.
Don't get me wrong, my kids and Steve do many great things to feel loved all day long. I got breakfast in bed, yummy dinner, a new purse, and topped the day off with cheesecake. Who wouldn't feel loved?

No, I do not like Mother's Day for one reason...

Mothers Guilt.

Having a whole day to celebrate a magical person I could never become is hard. Going to church and listening to talks about all the "perfect" moms is difficult, and hearing the song "Love at Home" drives me crazy (I have been known to walk out of the meeting when that song starts).

I am not a "perfect" mom and by the standards set on Mother's Day I never will be.

After years of crying on Mother's Day I decided this year would be different. I decided to focus on my family and that made all the difference.

I enjoyed the microwaved pancakes Cameron and Peyton made for me with out any help from dad. I cried as the kids sang a song at church just for the mom's (no it was not "love at home", I may not have made it through that one), I smelled the flower Marra brought me after church, I smiled as I read the note from Nate, I hugged and kissed all my kids, I acted surprised when I opened my present (Marra told me all about the purse the night before), I even cried when the kids gave me my card which sang "You are so Beautiful to Me".

I did alright.
I did get grumpy at times, but it beat staying in my room all day.
It is my first year, next year will be even better.

I am blessed to be a wife and mother, a role I am constantly trying to improve upon. I am not "perfect", but my family doesn't seem to care.

Now on to Father's Day. It IS my favorite day of the year.


Baxter's said...

After the obligatory mom talks yesterday this woman spoke on gratitude in our meeting. She has had cancer twice, and is sick again...and she spoke about gratitude. IT was awesome. Easily the best mother's day ever. :-) Miss you.

Rachel said...

I identify with what you posted. I try hard to enjoy the day also, but I don't like it much.

Thanks for posting. I know exactly how you feel. I'm sure that you are a wonderful mother. But you are right.

You are fabulous!

Jess and Tim Newcomb said...

Not yet being a Mother, I am very intimidated by many of the Mothers day memories, and talks spoken about "perfect Mothers". Especially the ones where they say, My mother was ALWAYS happy, She ALWAYS Spoke kindly and softly... and inside I think Oh brother, how will I ever fill those shoes. But at the end of the day It is my mothers imperfections, and memories of Busy Chaos in our happy house that endear me to her. No Mother is Perfect, But i'm sure your kids wouldn't trade you in for anything!

calmrapids said...

I had no idea that mother's day was so hard for you. I just try to laugh through it. It's uncomfortable to have the spotlight on me, as a mother, for sure, and for the last 3 years someone (anonymously) has sent me flowers "to the mother of the ward" which I really hate. But I play games with the kids, let Chris make dinner, open some presents, and know that tomorrow will come.

Me & My 2 Randys said...

Marnie I will never be able to thank you enough for being honest. I think that is why I feel like I connected with you so well after knowing you for only so little a time. Thank you from another mommy who already feels the same way on Mother's Day (and only has 2 kids thus far). You are my inspiration. Miss ya!

Mama P said...

I loved this post and I always love your honesty. I am with you, Mother's Day has never ranked very high with me. I keep trying and Kim keeps puttig up with my tears on that day. I think I remember complaining with you on this subject in Encinitas and ThAt Horrid song. This year I was sick in bed, and it was actually a pretty good day. Love you!!!!